Mental Health Series - Helping Others Cope with Mental Illness

Helping someone you love, who has a mental illness, can be difficult. Providing the support the need may not always be easy.

Many family members blame themselves for the illnesses of their loved one. Don’t do that. It’s not your fault.  It’s important for families “to learn that they didn’t cause [their loved one’s disorder] and they can’t cure it,” according to Harriet Lefley, Ph.D, professor at the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine who’s worked with families for 25 years.

However, how you treat them can have a major impression on their well being. Here are some tips to follow when supporting someone you love with a mental illness.

• Educate yourself about the illness
• Seek resources
•  Be realistic about your expectations
•  Reach out to family and friends for support
•  Work closely with your loved one’s medical support team

Learn all you can by talking to doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, and any one else on your loved one’s medical support team about the type of illness and what to expect.

There are many Internet and community resources available for your support as well as the support of your loved one. You can locate them, interview them, and determine if they’re a suitable resource.

When being realistic about your expectations, understand that there is no cure for mental illness. If your loved one has to stay in the hospital for any length of time and released, they are not “cured”, only stabilized to some point.

Don’t try to do everything on your own. You can’t be there 24/7 for your loved one as well as keep up with a job, family, children, social life, house, and other responsibilities. Ask for help. Ask family and friends to step in and be there for you. Ask for an afternoon off so that you can do some shopping or get a manicure or pedicure. Find some time to yourself so that you can recharge your own personal batteries.

Have a hobby that you can continue to do, even while supporting your loved one. It’s important for you to stay mentally and physically healthy as well. Don’t give up seeing your friends. You need that social interaction to motivate you.

If necessary, keep a journal. It will not only be beneficial to your loved one’s medical support team to know about all the ups and downs of his/her mental illness, but to understand how you are coping as well. Use the journal to vent your emotions and record your own ups and downs with supporting a loved one with a mental illness. Getting the thoughts out of your head and onto paper can bring a great relief.

Support for Veterans

Today is Veteran's Day. A day to remember our brave women and men who served in the military.

From the Almanac website here is a bit of history about Veteran's Day.

"Originally Armistice Day, commemorating the signing of the agreement that ended World War I at 11:00 A.M., November 11, 1918, this federal holiday was changed to Veterans Day in 1954. At that time, it became a day to honor all the men and women who have served in the armed forces of the United States. Each year, special ceremonies are held at Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia. Consider spending some time on-line learning more about our nation's veterans. The Great War Society has developed a Web site devoted to World War I educational materials. The World War IIMemorial celebrates the victory of “the greatest generation” with a design that uses moving water to harmonize with its natural surroundings. Visit the Korean War Veterans Memorial online; this moving memorial, dedicated in 1995, is the latest addition to the National Mall in Washington, D.C. See a registry of all the names on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall in Washington. Learn more about the military men and women who are on duty today."

It's important to support and honor those who served our country and put their lives on the line to save yours. Whether they served in wars, built military equipment, or ran the Mess Hall, each one of those people should be honored.

Veterans coming home bring back some unimaginable memories. Memories that they'd like to forget. Some come back without limbs or even worse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Here are some tips on Supporting Veterans.

Transiting from the armed forces to civilian life may not be as easy as it could be for some people. Some Veterans need some support to help them find their way in the civilian world. There are resources for that in your community and on the Internet.

You may need to find a job, find a place to live, or even find health care to help you in your time of need.

Veterans perform a job with the military that can reflect no other. Their courage, strength, and fortitude are matchless. We must not forget the sacrifices they and their families made while they were serving our country.

One of the first places someone can turn to is the Department of Veteran Affairs. Not only will they help you establish your GI Bill, if need be, but they can help you with establishing a VA loan for housing and obtaining medical benefits.

Not every veteran who returns from a tour in the military finds their footing. There are organizations and community resources to give you a step up and a helping hand, if necessary.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious disorder afflicting many of our veterans. It’s a serious, silent illness that can keep a person from pursing the happier moments of being home and among family. There is support for PTSD as well in the form of therapy, counseling, and hospitalization depending on the severity.

Things that a newly returning veteran can do are establishing a routine. Don’t become complacent or discontent with your situation. Work to make a change for the better. If you need to find a job, look for one in the local papers, use your network with the VA, and join community services that help you locate employment.

If finding a place to live is your priority, you can do that as well. Use your VA resources, your ability to purchase a home with a VA loan, and other resources available in your community to locate housing.

If healthcare is your priority, you can definitely use the VA resources to find medical care at a Veterans Hospital or clinic. If one isn’t currently available in your area, contact the Department of VeteranAffairs to find the one closest to your area.

It’s important to stay positive and upbeat. You are a survivor. You are a hero. You are confident and strong. Use the help of family and friends to establish your civilian life and before you know it, you’ll be telling stories of the time you were in the military to your friends over a nice barbeque in your new backyard.

Semper Fi, from a U. S. Marine Corps Disabled Veteran. 

Mental Health Series - Mental Health Support

Having a Mental Health Disorder is not the end of the world. Many people function quite well in society in spite of it.

The first thing you have to understand is that you didn’t cause this to happen to you. Nor should your family members blame themselves. There are many people with mental health problems; you are not the only one. It’s not a defect in your personality, or an ethical limitation. It’s a health condition. And like other health conditions, it’s rarely caused by one specific thing. As far as Mental Health Disorders, lots of various factors can be involved, such as:

·      Your family history

·      Stressful events – loss, conflict, childbirth

·     Stressful life situations – low income, poor housing

·     Other health problems – substance abuse, other mental health issues

·      Environment – seasonal changes and related seasonal issues

·      Personality and thinking style – how you look at the world, how you deal with troubling events or situations, learned behaviors of watching others cope

Sometimes you may have been diagnosed with more than one Mental Health Disorder. It’s very common for people to have more than one disorder at a time. For many with mood problems, they also experience mental disorders. 

Sometimes your diagnosis will change over time when new information comes along or new symptoms occur. For some, your diagnosis may be longer lasting. It’s best to let the professionals who are treating you determine your diagnosis, what are true symptoms, and treatment plans.

As for you, it’s important to be as knowledgeable, cognizant, and absorbed as you possibly can in your own mental health. You must get involved in your treatment plans and share the decision making with your support team.

Your support team should consist of close family members or friends. A faith leader, health care provider, your psychiatrist and either your spouse or other trusted person should also be included.

Your support system should give you good advice, help when you need it, allow you space when necessary, listen to you, respect your need for confidentiality, work with you on figuring how what to do the next time you experience a bad episode, and always have your best interest in mind.

Keeping a journal is a way for you to have some control over your thoughts and feelings. You can write them down in your journal along with any symptoms you may experience, as well as mood changes. These will all be beneficial to your psychiatrist in keeping current with your treatment plan.

Turn to God. He is always there to comfort you. Spend time in prayer and in listening to God's message. Become involved in your church functions. You can't find amy better support than your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Finally, join a reputable and safe online Mental Health community that supports each other  and provides up to date information.

Mental Health Series - Mental Health and Coping With Stigma

I'm going to start a new series to hopefully dispense some mental health facts, information about various mental health disorders and give support and advice. Some of these mental health disorders I've experienced personally, some I've done extensive research. In all of these posts, I hope to give you important information and help you realize that you are not alone and there are others who suffer and endure the same disorders and there are support groups and organizations to help you, as well as treatment options and doctors. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I hope to be able to answer, and if I don't know, I'll find out for you.

Today, my post is about Mental Health and Coping with the Stigma. You are not your disorder. You should not feel ashamed or ostracized. You should not be treated unfairly or with discrimination.

You are a survivor and living life with an illness that can debilitate some and make others even stronger. It's all up to you.

“The mentally ill frighten and embarrass us. And so we marginalize the people who need or acceptance. What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close

I received my diagnosed for Bipolar Disorder in 2003. Frightened, confused, and full of questions, I turned to some close friends. One of those friends no longer speaks to me. Was it prejudice? Discrimination? Stigma? I’d say a resounding “yes” to all three. Was it a weakness on her part, as well? I think so. Although, I can’t speak for her, and she won’t speak for herself, I can only assume that she didn’t understand the disorder enough to become comfortable with still maintaining a friendship.

So, what is stigma? At its basic, it’s when someone views you in a negative way that leads to discrimination. This discrimination can be direct such as a person making a derogatory remark about you or your mental illness or indirect when they avoid you altogether, such as what my friend did to me. Stigma can be broken into two defining factors: Social stigma and Self-stigma. Social stigma is the discrimination we receive from society; Self-stigma is judgment we shackle upon ourselves. 

Stigma can lead to harmful effects on your life that can include you not wanting to seek help or treatment. You make find that your family, friends or co-workers lack the understanding necessary about your illness. You might find fewer opportunities for work, school, or social activities, or find it difficult to locate housing. Sometimes things might turn physical and violence, harassment or bullying can occur.  Stigma can even affect your health insurance by not sufficiently covering your mental illness treatments.  You may even believe that you’ll never succeed or improve your position. Social stigma can overwhelm even the strongest person at times, while Self-stigma can devastate a person sometimes beyond repair.

We have a hard fight against stigma we have no control of such as the misrepresentation of mental disorders in the media and the entertainment world. Negative betrayals of individuals with mental disorders are common and increasing along with misinformation about symptoms, causes and treatments.

It seems the world of psychiatry is also attempting to stop stigma with their own three-fold approach of: protest, education and contact. They are asking the media to stop reporting inaccurate representations of mental illness. They are asking the public to stop believing the negative views about mental illness. They’re educating by providing information via various programs and using contact to initiate meetings between the general public and those with mental illness who are able to hold down a job and be a productive member of society.

However, with help, support, and the right attitude, you can overcome stigma, dealing with it in a positive manner.

Make sure you receive the proper treatment. Don’t let stigma create self-doubt and shame in your life. Remember, stigma doesn’t just come from others; there is self-stigma as well. Reach out to your family, friends and community for assistance and support, compassion and understanding.

You are not your illness. Do not say, “I am Bipolar.” Use these words instead, “I have Bipolar Disorder.” If you are able, join a support group in your area. They are a wealth of information and support.

And, best of all, speak out against stigma. Use facts and other information that are relevant to mental illness and mental health.

“Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.” – anonymous.