Friday, March 22, 2013

Sabbatical Time-Depression Sinks In

If you have been following my blog you have been aware of my depressive cycle. It hasn't gotten any better so I've checked into the hospital for help. This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me. I've been hospitalized before. Many times. Well, I can count on nearly two hands how many times.

This is going to be a long hospital stay as I'm getting a new treatment. ECT treatments. Basically, I'm being given induced seizures for less than a minute to try and "reset" my brain. The doctors say I need to get back to "factory settings". Makes me feel like a computer.

But, if you think about it, all our brains are like computers. Very complex computers.

The prognosis is good. The popular belief (and facts have shown) that this is the best treatment for people like me who have stubborn long-term depressive episodes that haven't responded to medications.

I'll attempt to keep you posted on my results. I was concerned about memory loss and losing my ability to write, but so far so good. I had my first treatment this morning and overall it was a good experience. The doctors said I had the perfect seizure and they have high expectations of subsequent good results.

My hope is to get better, stable, and get back to doing what I do best. Write.

If anyone has comments or questions, I will do my best to respond.

-- Vicki

Friday, March 15, 2013

Five Minute Friday - Rest

It's time for the "Five Minute Friday" blogging post. The inspiration comes from Lisa Jo Baker

What you do is set your timer for five minutes and write whatever you want according to the prompt Lisa places on her blog every Friday. Then you go back, link your blog and give support to those who posted before you. And, we connect on Twitter with #FiveMinuteFriday.


Rest. A four-letter word that means so much to so many different people. I can rest from work now. I can rest from taking care of the kids. I can rest from cleaning the house. I can rest.

With someone with Bipolar Disorder, the rest doesn't come as easy. Especially when you are in a depressive cycle like I am right now. Rest is but a fleeting memory of long ago wishes. Rest means attempting to center myself from a raging beast inside of me. Rest means attempting to calm the beast while I read a "not so stimulating" book, or watch a "not so stimulating" movie to give the beast distraction. Rest means following my action plan. Watching for symptoms. Avoiding triggers.

This isn't my first attempt at soothing this particular amusement park ride. I've lived with Bipolar Disorder for a long time. A very long time. I've had depressive episodes that have lasted only a week and have lasted for over three years. The hard part is never knowing when or how they're going to rear their ugly head.

So, I rest. And enjoy the peacefulness of sanity and stability until it's time to rest no more. Until it's time tame the beast of depression.


Click on the Five Minute Friday logo below and see what others have written for their prompt. Have a great day.

Five Minute Friday