Guest Post: Avoiding Relapse at Holiday Parties

The holidays can be a difficult and even lonely time for many of us, especially those who are living in recovery; either from alcoholism or needing to abstain due to psychotropic medications. Holiday parties almost always include temptation and pressure to drink. The holidays can especially be a struggle for those who are very early in their own recovery process. You’ve worked so hard for your sobriety; how can you make it through this season without slipping back into relapse? If this concern sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone. According to DrugFree.org, ten percent of Americans are in addiction recovery. So many more take medications that interfere with alcohol and alcohol infused treats.

However, it is possible to make it through the holidays without relapse. Here are a few tips...

Have a Plan

Never go to a holiday party without a plan for staying sober. Anticipate any pressures or temptations before they occur, and know how you plan to respond. For instance, ask yourself, “How will I stay sober on this day?” Whatever your sobriety plan might be, figure it out in advance; practice it; and don’t be afraid to stick to it.

Volunteer

Helping other people is one of the most meaningful and fulfilling activities you can do, regardless of the time of year. Of course, bringing joy to the lives of others has special meaning during the holidays. Activism and volunteer work puts things into perspective, gives us a sense of purpose, and builds self-esteem while helping us forget about our own problems. There are countless ways you can help others this holiday season, including serving food at a homeless shelter, mentoring a child in need, or even volunteer at an animal shelter - just to name a few.

Don’t Go

When all else fails, simply consider not going. This is especially recommended if you are early in your recovery process because that’s when the temptation is usually the strongest. Attending the party might sound like fun. However, more often than not, the temptation of attending a holiday party is simply not worth the risk of returning to addiction. It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean you have to stay at home by yourself. Instead, you could spend time with a friend who isn’t going to the party. If possible, choose to go to an AA meeting or meet up with your sponsor, if you have one. Or go to the movies. Take a yoga class. Go ice skating with a loved one. If you’re single, take a chance by going on a date. Or, better yet, throw your own party…

Throw Your Own Party

Celebrate the holidays and sobriety, all in one party! This is a great way to avoid the loneliness and sadness that people often feel during the holiday season, while resisting the temptation of being around alcohol at parties. Hold your own party at your home or at your favorite event space. Invite your friends, loved ones, and even your sponsor. Of course, let everyone know in advance that it will be a drug- and alcohol-free event. Enforce those boundaries. Instead of wine, consider serving punch, apple cider or non-alcoholic homemade eggnog. Plan games, play music, and perhaps even hold a potluck or cookie swap. Regardless of what party theme you choose, you can show yourself - and your loved ones - that it is possible to ring in the holidays with plenty of fun and cheer… and without the need to drink or the chance of relapse.

As you can see, the holiday season doesn’t have to be all about parties, cocktails and hangovers. With some will power, a strategy plan and the support of those around you, you’ll find that it is very possible to eat and be merry this holiday season -- without having a single drink. Hopefully, this gives you a simple guideline for having a happy, healthy holiday season without slipping into relapse.


By Henry Moore


Henry is the co-creator of FitWellTraveler. The site blends two of his favorite subjects (travel and health) to provide readers with information about how to get the most out of both. Mr. Moore starts every day by looking at photographs of past travel, making plans for future travel, and committing to one new healthy goal. He enjoys travel, running, swimming and baking. His favorite place in the world is Venice, Italy. The next place on his list to visit is: Fernando de Noronha in Brazil.

Maintaining a Positive Attitude

People are always telling me I have a great attitude. I mostly shrug it off and say, "I'd rather have a positive attitude than deal with the opposite."

The more I think about it, the more I have realized that I really do have a really good positive attitude about life in general.

Right now, I'm going through some serious stressors.

• One of my dearest friends died last week. I'm attending his services this weekend.
• My mother-in-law went through a series of strokes and is hospitalized. 
• I'm trying very hard to get a handle on my new business, Succeed at Writing, and learning how to market, gain clients, and create services.
• I have suffered with TMJ/TMD pain issues for ten years. Since last October it has  been so serious that I've had to change my eating habits to only eat smoothies or very soft food. No chewing allowed.  I had an MRI that showed the two joints that help you open and close your jaw are not working properly. I've seen two oral surgeons and I'm scheduled for an outpatient procedure at the end of the month to correct it.
• I have carpel tunnel syndrome in my right hand. I've had it in my left hand and had it surgically corrected. I've been told by doctors that I cannot get it corrected in my right hand until my jaw is fixed.
• I was scheduled to go to Arizona last December to see my new grandson when he was born, but my doctors told me I couldn't travel while I had these jaw issues. So, I had to cancel my flight plans. He's now two months old and I've yet to see him except in pictures.
• My granddaughter turned six yesterday and while talking to her she begged me to come out and visit. It was so difficult trying to explain to her that I couldn't travel until after my surgery. I truly hated disappointing her.
• Because my mother-in-law is hospitalized, my husband has scheduled a trip to see her this weekend, so I will be left alone. (I'll have my dog and parrot to keep me company.)

Any one of these things can cause a Bipolar trigger and send me into a tailspin. I'm using positive thinking techniques to get through each of them. I'm also using tools I've learned through therapy to find ways to keep myself distracted from the pain/discomfort/stress of any one of these issues and most specifically, being left alone while my main support person leaves for three days.

I'm trying very hard to maintain a positive attitude through all of this. I think that I'm definitely blessed that none of my issues are truly so serious that they are debilitating. There are other people in the world who are in a much worse condition than I.

I'm attempting to keep the worrying to a minimum. Worrying doesn't really accomplish anything. It does cause stress and I've done well to keep from sinking into an anxiety episode.

I'm keeping busy with various projects. I'm going to be a workshop presenter at the next Florida Writers Association Annual 2014 Conference. So, I am working on the handouts I will give the attendees.

A business plan must be created for Succeed at Writing, so that is another project I am working on. I've been working with a business coach who lives in Sweden. He has been tremendously helpful in keeping me grounded and following correct procedures along with giving me the right amount of positive encouragement to be excited about the future plans for my company.

I am a board member for the Florida Writers Association and also the Board Liaison between the FWA board and the Writers Group Leaders. I make sure they are kept up to date on all communications and help answer any questions they might have. I also read all of their meeting reports and give them positive encouragement.

I'm attempting to keep at least two weeks ahead on my blog, Your Writing Coach, so that at any time, I am prepared in case of an emergency.

I'm presenting a workshop in May, titled "Finding the Time and Commitment to Write" for a writing group near me. This is an exciting workshop to give because of the anticipated group participation.

As you can see, I have plenty to keep me busy. Some might think I'm overloaded, but I'm not. I compartmentalize each task and schedule work on each one on a calendar I keep open on my desk. Seeing it there gives me the feeling of comfort in knowing that I'm in control.

I love what I do. I enjoy helping writers succeed. I am excited about the path my new business is taking. Physical problems aside, life is pretty darn good. Why shouldn't I have a positive attitude?

I can give you some tips on how to maintain a positive attitude:

• Prayer. Reading God's word.
• Don't focus on the negative side of any situation.
• Do only what genuinely makes you happy.
• If stressors occur, keep your mind focused on positive outcomes. 
• Worrying doesn't help. It only causes stress. It doesn't accomplish anything.
• Find distraction opportunities. Read. Watch a movie. Work on a puzzle of any type. 
• If you have a dog, take him/her for a walk. 
• Take yourself for a walk.
• Call a friend. Chatting to another person always helps me keep perspective.
• Remember, there are other people with far worse issues. 
• Volunteer your time, if it works in your schedule. If it doesn't, it will only stress you out.
• Stay connected to family and friends.
• Don't read newspapers or watch the news or listen to news type talk radio shows. I have stopped this and feel so much better. I do have a link with CNN that sends me anything of extreme importance. Other than that, I have barred all news shows from my home.
• Maintain balance in your life. 
• Nourish your dreams.
• Form a support team for yourself and use it.

What about you? Do you maintain a positive attitude? How do you maintain it? I'd love to know your tricks and tips.