Guest Post - Positive Changes Help Cope With a Major Life Event

Going through major life changes can impact us in so many ways; some are positive, some are negative. In many cases, it’s difficult to know the right path to choose after such a big change, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. However, it’s possible to take these occurrences and use them to your advantage.

Some of the biggest life changes we experience include having a baby, losing a loved one, going through a divorce, getting married, and buying a new home. These events all run the risk of becoming very stressful times in our lives, but they also have the potential to change us for the better. Taking a period of transition and turning it into a reason to make positive changes in our behavior or way of thinking is a wonderful way to start down a new path in life. Not to mention that these changes can be highly beneficial for our mental and physical health.

Here are some of the best ways to get started.

Get healthy

Having a child or losing a loved one to illness are two of the greatest motivators in the world for getting healthy. Often, new parents or people who are dealing with grief feel they can’t take the time to focus on themselves, but it’s important to pay attention to your body and mental state. Lack of sleep is one of the biggest complaints of individuals who are going through a major life event, so work out a way to get adequate rest. Take naps often, and stay hydrated. Eat well-balanced meals, and include lots of fruits, veggies, and proteins to keep up your energy.
A healthy diet can equate to a healthy mind.

It’s also important to get a little exercise every day, even when you’re feeling low or tired. Exercise can help boost your mood and give you a burst of energy, and it can actually help boost your mental health as it releases hormones in the brain that are associated with being happy.

Clean up

Being in a clean environment can help you feel more in control--which is important after a major change, when everything can seem to be in chaos--so get organized and start de-cluttering. Go through closets and cabinets and donate or toss anything you haven’t used in a while. Give each room a good cleaning and air out your home. Not only will it be a better environment for your family, it will help you feel better, too. Having a clean, well-organized living situation can be beneficial for your mental health; after all, coming home after a long day to a cluttered home where chores await can amp up your stress levels and interfere with your sleep cycle. Read on here to find out more about how cleaning up and de-cluttering can improve your mental well-being.

Chuck those bad habits

Going through a major life change can be a great motivator for other areas of your life, such as smoking, using substances, or allowing toxic people to stay around. Take stock of what’s really important to you and think about the best ways to make some changes for the better. If you feel you need help getting past those habits, reach out and garner support from your friends and family.

Working on yourself and focusing on what makes you happy can allow you to enjoy life more. Finding a hobby or taking an interest in something new--such as learning a new language or traveling--will give you a new view on life and can help you be your best self inside and out.

It’s not always easy to make changes in your life, even when you know they’re best for you and your family in the long run. Take things one day at a time and don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t reach your goal right away. Making changes for the better takes time.

Guest Blogger Bio: Jennifer Scott has experienced anxiety and depression since she was a teenager. She shares stories about the ups and downs of her anxiety and depression at SpiritFinder. With SpiritFinder.org, Ms. Scott offers a forum where those living with anxiety and depression can discuss their experiences.

Photo via Pixabay by Jill111

Guest Post -Taking Back Their Lives: Dual Diagnosis Recovery Survivors Share Their Stories

Taking Back Their Lives: Dual Diagnosis Recovery Survivors Share Their Stories

by Constance Ray

“I am a strong woman and I can do whatever I put my mind to. ... I'm caring, honest, and most importantly ... I love who I am today.” - Elizabeth, Proud Recovery Graduate

The connection between substance abuse and mental disorder is a strong and complex diagnosis. Left unchecked, the combination of the two can have devastating consequences. But how on earth is someone in pain supposed to claw their way free? It feels like a Sisyphean ordeal with no way out, and so the vicious cycle continues.

Treatment is, without question, the best way to battle the dual diagnosis of addiction and mental illness. To the uninitiated, it’s a terrifying and suspect gamble, but with therapy and group counseling, recovery victims can arm themselves with the tools and skills necessary to face down their personal demons and whatever life throws their way.

Survivors are proof that there is life after addiction, and hearing their realizations and discoveries can be the motivation others need to take the plunge themselves. Consider the stories of these brave women.

Katherine’s Story

Alcohol had consumed Katherine’s life.

“I drank pretty hardcore and it got to the point where I was drinking in the morning, at my lunch, drinking before I went to work, all night long. I was constantly buzzed or intoxicated. I went to my doctor. She let me know that she thought that maybe I was bipolar, and I asked her, ‘Why?’”

Her doctor pointed out that Katherine was making a lot of bad decisions and insisted that she take medication. Resistant to try anything, Katherine went home to reflect, and then a light went off.

“... I realized that I probably wouldn’t make any of these decisions if I was sober. I knew that I needed more help than doing it on my own.”

Katherine reached out to an alcohol treatment center, and from there, her life changed forever.

“Once I started learning more about my underlying causes and why I did the things I did, getting all the stuff out — all the guilty feelings, all the stuff from childhood, things I didn’t deal with — life just started to get a lot better. I started to understand my addiction. And I’m extremely excited to get out of here and experience a sober life for the first time.”

Audra’s Story

On the surface, Audra had the perfect life: a great job, great kids, a nice house. But it was all
a facade. Inside, she suffered from deep depression and despair that stemmed from an adolescent trauma. Audra started drinking when she was 12, and at 42, she finally realized her world was spinning out of control.

“I knew I was going to die if I didn't stop, and I didn't see any way that I could. I took a video of myself in a really drunken state, and the next day I had my aunt call me and ask me, 'Honey you need some help — what can we do to help you?'” Audra said.

The next day, Audra packed herself off to a treatment facility.

“I knew that I needed help, and I had faith that God was going to put me in the right place.
Within about a day or two of being [in treatment], I truly believed that this is exactly where I needed to be.”

Sober and prepared to move on with her life, Audra is grateful for what she has learned about herself, and she is grateful for the new opportunity.

“Without the counseling, I don't think I really could have gotten to the root cause of why I was drinking. I have learned so much. With those counseling sessions, we were able to open up all those wounds and just put them on the table and just let them heal naturally and on their own,” she said. 

Katherine and Audra are living proof that there is hope for those who suffer a dual diagnosis. There is a way to take back life and move forward. The process can be arduous, and it lasts a lifetime, but in the end it’s the survivors who win — not their disease.

-- Constance Ray started Recoverywell.org with the goal of creating a safe place for people to share how addiction has affected them, whether they are combating it themselves or watching someone they care about work to overcome it.

Photo by Pixabay

Mental Health Series - Adult Children Bullying Parents

There are all forms of bullying that are disguised in various ways.

As a young child, you probably saw or experienced bullying on the playground, riding the bus to school, or in your school hallways.

Now that there is social media, bullying occurs in a whole other fashion that hurts just as much or more.

And, after becoming an adult, bullying doesn't stop.

Adult bullying is becoming an epidemic.

Adult children are bullying their parents... can you believe it?

 According to Psychology Today, there are three types of Parents who get bullied by their own children:

Three parenting styles are most likely to trigger bullying in children.

• The guilty parent. Something has gone wrong—a divorce, an illness, a financial hardship—and now the parent feels guilty. To ease their guilt they give their kids too much freedom and not enough limits. This always backfires.

• The anxious parent. This is a parent who is always worrying and expressing anxiety. Children experience a parent’s anxiety as, "I don't believe in you," “I don't trust you," or "you're not a capable person," and this triggers a lot of anger and resentment toward the parent.

• The fix-everything parent. These parents can't stand to see their children frustrated and constantly step in and solve problems for them. Such parents have good intentions and are often heroic, but the outcome is horrendous. The child remains dependent on the parents and unconsciously resents them for it. They are never satisfied. In fact, the more you give them, the less they appreciate you. Children have a natural drive for independence that needs to be encouraged. The fix-everything parent discourages it and therefore dwarfs the emotional development of their own child. Children of fix-everything parents have a tendency to age but not mature.

Do you fall into one of these categories?

According to the blog "Adult Children Bullying Parents",  a bully is an unhappy person looking for a victim to punish. 

So, what can you do if your adult child is bullying you?

Here are some suggestions from "The Abusive Adult Child" hubpage:

If you are being abused by your child here are some things you need to do.

1. Make contact with as many people as you can . 

2. Tell your Dr what is going on. If the abuser goes to the Dr's office with you, make an appointment for a private problem that requires a physical like a prostate exam or a personal ladies physical such as a pap smear . That way the abuser will not be in the room at that time and then tell the Dr what is going on. 

3. Tell family members, relatives, and friends, any community support worker you are involved with , and ask for their help. 

4. Call the crisis line in your area, crisis lines are usually manned 24 hrs a day . You can call then just to talk if you need some one to talk to. Make an appointment with an abuse counselor .

5. If you are ready to end the abuse and the abuser lives with you and they do not pay rent, contact the police and have them removed from your house ., Ask for a restraining order or NO CONTACT order . 

Make plans to not be alone , Here are some suggestions 

1, Find a friend or relative you can stay with until everything is safe . 

2. You could also try and get some one to stay with you. 

3. Hire some one to stay with you for a few months 

4. consider moving to a seniors residence where you will be safe . or seniors only housing complex/ apartment 

You may still love your abusive child and you may feel you are being cruel buy putting a restraining or on them or kicking them out, but things will not get better until you do If your adult child is abusing you or taking advantage of you they are the ones doing wrong , not you .

Parents, please, stop being afraid of your adult children. The HuffPost agrees!


Parents, please read The Bill of Rights for Parents of Adult Children. You do not have to be disrespected by your own child.

Mental Health Stigma - Can You Pass the Test?

Are you sure you do not harbor any negative thoughts about people with Mental Health Issues?

Here is a simple test developed by David Sussman, PhD:

Mental Illness Stigma Quiz

True or False:
1) There’s no real difference between the terms “mentally ill” and “has a mental illness.”
2) People with mental illness tend to be dangerous and unpredictable.
3) I would worry about my son or daughter marrying someone with a mental illness.
4) I’ve made fun of people with mental illness in the past.
5) I don’t know if I could trust a co-worker who has a mental illness.
6) I’m scared of or stay away from people who appear to have a mental illness.
7) People with a mental illness are lazy or weak and need to just “get over it.”
8) Once someone has a mental illness, they will never recover.
9) I would hesitate to hire someone with a history of mental illness.
10) I’ve used terms like “crazy,” “psycho,” “nut job,” or “retarded” in reference to someone with a mental illness.

The scoring is simple; one point for every true response. Unless your score is zero, you have had thoughts, feelings, or behaviors which can contribute to increased stigma toward people with mental illness. The higher your score, the more likely it is you have had these types of experiences. 

If you scored a zero, congratulate yourself. Good job! 

If you scored anything other than a zero, you may benefit from reading the articles below, or commenting and asking questions. I would be happy to answer.

Here are more articles to help you understand and discover new ways to help stop Mental Health Stigma:

Mental Health Stigma

Stigma and Mental Illness

A Surgeon General's Report on the Stigma of Mental Illness: Have We Made Progress?

Psychiatric Advanced Directives

As an advocate for your mental and physical health, it's important for you to be familiar with such legal documents as:

• Advanced Healthcare Directive
• Living Will
• Medical Power of Attorney

But, what about a Psychiatric Advanced Directive?

Many people either know about or have created their own Advanced Health Care Directive, or "Living Will." You may also be familiar with the Medical Power of Attorney. If you are not, the following explanation may provide valuable information for you and your loved ones.

When you create an Advanced Health Care Directive or, Living Will, you are stating your wishes for the kinds of medical treatment you do or do not want if you become seriously injured or ill and are not able to communicate your wishes at the time of treatment. It's important to understand, that this Healthcare document is completely separate from a will or trust that you create to leave your property to others upon your death. 

The Medical Power of Attorney differs from the Advanced Healthcare Directive in this way: while the Advanced Healthcare Directive specifically identifies the types of treatment you want or do not want based on your medical condition, the Medical Power of Attorney allows you to specify a specific representative to work with the doctors to make the best treatment choices for you based on the guidance you outlined in your Advanced Healthcare Directive.

However, those with Mental Health Issues might also want to create what is called, a "Psychiatric Advanced Directive" or PAD. It is also known as a Mental Health Advanced Directive.

What is a Psychiatric Advanced Directive?

The best definition I could find was from the US Library of Medicine National Institute of Health:

"Psychiatric advance directives (PADs) are written documents or oral statements that allow adults with decision-making capacity to declare their treatment preferences and/or to designate proxy decision makers to act on their behalf should they be deemed incapable in the future of making informed choices on their own.

In the U.S., the Patient Self-Determination Act  created momentum for recovery-oriented care, which has led to the enactment of mental health-related advance planning legislation in about two-thirds of the states. Internationally, increasing attention to such tools is found in the U.K., Ireland, Germany, Belgium, Canada, New Zealand, Australia and India."

The Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law has an extensive and comprehensive section regarding PAD's. Here is a link for information and an example of a form to complete for a Psychiatric Advanced Directive.

The National Resource Center on Psychiatric Advanced Directives can answer a lot of your questions, especially regarding specific statutes for the state in which you live. Another option is the Legal Consumer site that includes all types of Healthcare Directives, including Mental Health Care Directives by State.

Many people don't realize that the ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act, also protects those with Mental Illness.

"The ADA covers a wide range of individuals with disabilities. An individual is considered to have a "disability" if he or she has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, has a record of such an impairment, or is regarded as having such an impairment."

As for me, I have already created an Advanced Healthcare Directive, "Living Will," and identified in writing a Medical Power of Attorney. I will definitely contact my lawyer to add a Psychiatric Advanced Directive to this list of my legal documents. All of these documents are important to have prior to any scenario that may occur when the emotions of my loved ones and clarity on my part can not determine the types of treatment I prefer.

It makes sense, if you consider the alternative. Who would you rather have in charge of your treatment choices? You, as stated in a legal document? Or, someone who knows nothing about you?

If you think about it like that, there isn't any reason to hesitate creating these documents, is there? Be pro-active. Be your own advocate.


IMPORTANT NOTE:  Verify your individual state or country laws whether your Psychiatric Advanced Directive/Mental Health Advanced Directive requires notarization.